1. Be Honest With
Yourself & Comfortable With The Way You Are At This Very Moment…
What
does that mean? Every human have triggers in their mind that causes them to
think and feel a perculiar way about themselves in certain situations. A woman
with a heavier body frame may feel insecure or ugly when walking into a crowded
room at a party with several women who all have small body frames. The woman
with the heavier body feels this way because a mental trigger was set off and
sent to the part of her brain that has stored and attached an emotion to that
image she saw when walking to room. These triggers can be in the form of songs,
movies, special locations, eerie sounds, food, behaviors, people, and once
again the list goes on. Let’s say this
heavy set woman was once a chubby kid who used to get teased to tears by her
petite classmate. “You’re so fat,”
says the petite classmate who is in fact teasing her chubby counterpart due to
a trigger in her own mind. “You’re fat
and ugly because you don’t look like me.” After hearing this enough times
and feeling insecure or ugly (or both) afterwards, your mind has now embedded
this feeling with that image and those words spewed at you.
Understand- it’s okay to feel insecure, ugly, fat, skinny,
rejected, unpopular, unimportant etc… Don’t be alarmed! I’m aware that this
sounds 100% contrary to what so many others teach. And understand that I am
expressing this from a mindset that was once crowded with lies. But I say its
okay to feel this way because you’re dealing with something as shallow as a
feeling; and feelings change a hundred times a day. There is nothing that you
can do about this very real feeling other than seek the truth which opposes the
lie that’s making you feel so awful. The only way to deal with these feelings
is to accept that you really feel this way and be comfortable with it.
Let Me Explain: If I walk into a room and see a bunch of
beautiful-thin women, and this causes me to feel fat and ugly, I need to first
accept that I feel fat and ugly. I need to be honest with myself. My thoughts
should be ‘I feel very fat and ugly right now because there are so many
beautiful-thin women in this room. BUT I know there is a lie somewhere in my
mind and I will begin to seek the truth to dispel the lie.’
Most women walk into
a situation like that and instead of accepting how they feel about themselves
they begin to size up the other women in the room and then allow envy, competitiveness,
and hating fill their head. If you’re too busy being envious, competing for
attention, or just being a straight up hater; then you are not working on YOU. The
energy you could be using to work on having a more positive self –image is
being used to dislike the image that you see of someone else. If you keep it
real with SELF and admit how you feel to yourself and why, then you are making
yourself the most important person in the room. When you are able to be
comfortable with how you are at this very moment then you free up space in your
mind and your confidence will show. When you are not comfortable with yourself
then you are allowing a bunch of lies to crowd your mind and redirect your
focus. Being honest with yourself does not mean that you are accepting it as
being true, you are just being honest with how you feel.
p.s. Even if you walk into a
crowded room and believe there isn’t anyone else hotter, you are taking the
focus off of you. Because in order to think you are the hottest chick in the
room you have to look around and notice all the other chicks and rate how hot they
are. Ain’t nobody got time for that! Stop focusing on whether you are the
smartest, hottest, richest, hardest worker; and just acknowledge that your
presence is noticed and you have an impact on everything around you.
