"I hate you!" The incorrigible 16 year old yelled to her mother.
" Don't speak to me that way. You will respect me in my house!" The mother yelled back with tears in her eyes and anguish in her heart.
This is an all so familiar situation for parents and their teenagers. The teenager all of a sudden feels that 2 years of high school qualifies them as an experienced adult, and the parent has been through enough experiences with the child to now be afraid of their seemingly over night growth. Here are 5 ways for a parent to stay confident while guiding their teen through the rough and rocky times.
1. Join either an online support group or find a group in your local area that meets on a regular basis to discuss ways to connect with your teenager. A good online place to begin is 'Because I love you'; www.bily.org
2. Stay consistent with providing structure for your teen, but find ways to remind yourself that it won't get better over night. The teenage attitude, habits, and behavior didn't form over night so therefore it won't be corrected in one night.
3. Keep yourself updated on as many teenage trends as possible without allowing it to become a distraction to your lifestyle. I'm not suggesting that you should be your child's friend, but at least be able to connect with them if/when they come to you attempting to communicate.
4. Never doubt that you're doing a good job as a parent. "Am I doing a good job as a parent?" Chances are, if you're asking yourself this question, then you are doing a good job as a parent. Maybe not as good as a parent that you would like to be, but only good parents wonder if they're being a good parent.
5. Keep an open mind and ask your teen questions. When you feel that something may not be right or even if you feel that everything seems right, open up and ask your teen questions. Don't be intimidated.
Think about your childhood and how your parents raised you. Do you think your parents were perfect? Do you think that you learned from the mistakes your parents made? Have you aimed to be a better parent than your parents? Whatever your answers are to these questions, and whether your parents were perfect or horrible, you'll always aim to be a better parent for your child/ren. Relax. Your teen will come around just as you did.
