Suddenly I realized I was a Queen

 

 

 

 

So, you think I'm useless and my mind holds no substance?

 You disregard my feelings and beat down my positive utterance?

 I allowed your hateful words to tear down the beautiful flowerbed around my heart.

 I allowed you to sow those weeds and I gave those false beliefs a start.

 I wanted to live up to your standards because I didn't have any of my own.

I held myself to low regard because I didn't know better, but if only had I known...

 

If only had I known that my life was created in love... not only between my parents but by the Creator above.

If only had I known that your disregard of my feelings was a blessing to my soul.

The more you beat down my positive utterances, my mind opened up and my purpose began to unfold.

I didn't have to believe those lies that I was hopeless, and that I needed to measure my worth against that of which is foreign..

If only had I known I was born with a crown of glory and it is greatness that I must walk in.

The shallow ideas of this world tried to rip my spirit and crumble my mind...but if only had I know that my existence is a gift and my uniqueness makes me one of a kind...

 

Suddenly I realized I was a Queen...

 

Will and Jada Smith investigated for Willow's risky photo

One of the most precious moments in a family is when a newborn baby makes a grand entrance. The furniture in the house is rearranged, every surface and crevice is sterilized, and a new set of rules are put in place for everyone in the house to abide by. You made a vow before God to protect this baby with your life and allow no harm to come his or her way.

There is nothing in the world more beautiful than your little bundle of joy, right?

I don't think anyone who has raised children will contest that from the moment the child is born up until his or her preteens years, the moments are quit precious. But those teenage years come in swinging like a wrecking ball in a demolition project.

Your teen is now trying to convince you that she is an adult and has all the knowledge and wisdom she needs to live as one. Your teen has now taken over your position as the adult and wants authority over his own life.

Parenting does not come with an instruction manual and we don't always know what to do for our child/ren. It seems that Will and Jada Smith have run into this sort of dilemma with their precious baby girl Willow. Will and Jada received an uproar of criticism of their parenting skills for allowing Willow to pose in this photo.

So, we're judging now? As parents we know everything right to do? We know what is right and wrong for every situation with our kids? We've never done anything a little careless with our children? We've made every right decision with our kids, right? Your parents never made a mistake or done anything careless while raising you?

What if Will and Jada had no idea this picture or situation was taking place? What if Willow being a teen, lied to her parents or nanny and carelessly got in this situation? What if Willow, being too grown, thought this picture would be a cool way to maker her look super cool? Kids do stuff. We all know that! Let's not be so quick to judge the parents.

Now, the children services are investigating Will and Jada over a photo that doesn't have nudity or any sexual content. Of course we can come up with dozens of ways this picture looks inappropriate, and even dozens more  reasons that Will and Jada are such horrible parents; but it's not that serious.

There are kids being molested, beat, and killed by their parents and sometimes the abuse in those situations go unnoticed for far too long. We may live next door to a family where abuse to a child is taking place but turn our heads in the other direction.

This situation isn't really about Willow, Will, or Jada; but more so about our quick reaction to judge two parents who are using the same parenting instruction manual as the rest of us. Get it....there's no such thing as an instruction manual. Pray for this family and hope that through all the mistakes Will and Jada may make with their children, lessons are learned and their bond is never broken.

Being overweight can bring you happiness

" I need to lose weight!" "I'll start my diet Monday." " I wish I had her butt." "Why won't the weight come off?"


Does any of these statements sound familiar. Even if you haven't said these things out loud, have you thought them to yourself? If so, don't be ashamed about how you feel and don't feel bad about yourself because you don't have a super model's body. You may look to the picture on your left and think, "Only if I had that body I would be happy." That may even be true to some extent but the picture on the right doesn't have to make you squirm with discomfort.

 Here are 5 ways that being over weight can bring happiness into your life.


 Focusing On Improving Your Appearance
1. Once you realize that your body could be in better shape, and a workout and diet regime is needed, you have now taken your attention off of everyone else and placed it on yourself. Just the thought of improving yourself in any way brings about happiness and gives a feeling of self confidence. So, taking the time out to focus on ways you can improve your appearance and actually making steps to do what you need to do can make you feel powerful and bring happiness into your life.


Learning New Things
2. Some people are overweight due to eating all of the wrong foods. Being overweight can be a motivation to learn more about nutrition and the way different types of food fuel your body. I don't know about you but whenever I learn something new that can improve or enhance my life in anyway, it not only brings happiness into my life, but I feel more like a well rounded person. Most people who learn about the nutritional value of different foods will share what they learn to others, and helping someone else live a better life will deliver a express package of happy right to the doorstep of your heart.

Benefits Of Becoming More Active
3. From my observation and personal experience I know that becoming overweight doesn't happen by working out on a regular basis. More often than not, people who become overweight are not taking the time out to get enough exercise. But once the decision is made to shed those pounds; a decision is made to work out regularly. Exercising will give you more energy, help you sleep better, make your heart stronger, and build your immune system(just to name a few things). While all these wonderful things are taking place as you exercise, you'll find yourself in a better mood.


 Seeing The Fruit Of Your Labor
4. 5 days per week and 1 hour each day is what you've committed to exercise. Uphill, downhill, squats, lunges, jumping jacks, curl-ups, arm presses, push-ups; and before you know it the results are in. You are losing the pounds and can see the changes to your body. Your clothes are fitting looser and your stamina is through the roof. You may have even gone to the doctor and received the news that your blood pressure is down. As you begin to see the results of all your hard work no one will recognize you without a smile on your face.


A New Victory
5. All the hard work has paid off and now you're getting admiration, compliments, and new attention. The admiration, compliments, and new attention could possibly bring an overwhelming happiness into your life, but it's the stunning victory of seeing your progress that brings about the most happiness.


Everything can be looked at in a positive way and be used to promote happiness. Just find the strength to do so and never compare yourself to someone else.

Being a Super-Mom is dangerous!

After catching up with an old friend I hadn't spoke with in several years, I was told that she suffered a stroke and became paralyzed on one half of her body at the age 33, which was followed by brain surgery that next year, a dozen seizures later that same year, and a second surgery which involved a VNS device being implanted in her chest all within 2 years.

This young woman is now 35 years old and finally realizing that she needs to slow down and take care of herself first before she can take care of her family. She's a single mother and tried to take on the task of being a Super-Mom. But she can only be the best mom that she can be for her 3 children. After having a 2 hour conversation with my old buddy I couldn't help but to think that the term Super-Mom is over rated.

Mother's Day was a few days ago but it's never too late to acknowledge the people who have the most important job in this world; MOTHERS! Mother's are responsible for raising up the children who will be the future and carry on legacy's. This is not to say that father's aren't significant in the process, but we all know that children are guided by the nurture of his/her mother.

As a mother, there is only one job for that mom to do; and that is to be the best mom that she knows how to be. This whole idea of Super-Mom is a myth. It doesn't matter how strong, hard working, smart, or talented that mother is, she can only do what she can do. When mother's try to live up to the standard of being Super-Mom then she neglects the most important person in the equation-herself.

Mother's, stop trying to be Super-Mom just because you feel that you have the strength to do so. Take time out for yourself and only do what you can do. When you start to realize that you're tired more than usual, or frustrated more often, may be getting frequent headaches, you're not exercising regularly or eating healthy, feeling depressed or stressed, or even feeling overwhelmed more frequently; then it is time to STOP! Stop putting everything else before yourself. It may sound harsh but no one comes before you but GOD. When everyone is depending on mom, who is she depending on. This is especially for the single mothers who feels that the entire world is on their shoulders.

Super-Mom is a myth! You do NOT have super powers so therefore you need to stop living up to that title. You may be able to maintain the Super-Mom facade for a while but it won't be long before reality kicks in and you realize that all while you were being Super-Mom, you were sacrificing your health, happiness, peace of mind, and possibly your life. Slow down and take it one day at a time because all the tasks, errands, bills, parent conferences, friends, and relationships will be there after you take some time for yourself. Pace yourself and NEVER put anyone/anything before 'you' except God.

Think about that.

What if Jay Z attacked Solange?

Awwwww...this looks like happier times for Jay Z and Solange Knowles; so why the sudden outburst of fury? Why did Solange attack Jay Z on that elevator in the Standard Hotel? 

We may never know what sparked Solange's outrage and if Jay Z provoked the situation, but many feel that Solange got off the hook much too easy. Many feel that her actions displayed a violent side that deserved more of a consequence. While Jay Z is being complimented for maintaining his self-restraint, those giving him a thumbs up are also disappointed that he didn't give Solange a good smacking. "If Jay Z had Cleveland bus driver uppercut Solange he would have been labeled a woman beater for defending himself," says one commenter on usmagazine.com.

Of course, Jay Z should not have hit Solange in retaliation but when is it justifiable for a man to hit a woman? Jay Z has an image and very successful career to uphold which more than likely helped him keep a level head, not to mention that his wife was standing next to him; but what if it was Lil Mookie or your neighbor John Doe?

There are more women using violence against men than ever before, so how do men defend themselves? Some think that if a woman has enough courage to stand up against a man to fight, then she should be able to handle the repercussion of that man striking back.

My opinion is this: Ladies, keep your hands to yourself. Your place as a woman is NOT to discipline a man by striking him. You don't want none of that!

#BringBackOurGirls

This horrid reality of the kidnapped Nigerian girls is far worse than what the average human being encounters in a lifetime. Where are they? What do they feel? Are they hopeful? Are they fighting? Are they sticking together? Do they see their rescue or release in the near future?

Prayers and wishes are being sent up to the heavens above the earth from people all across the world. It's unfortunate that we can't prevent these kind of atrocities from happening to young innocent children.
                                                
It's time for the world's leaders to put aside the futile issues and come together harmoniously in an effort to ensure this world is left in the hands of responsible and moral people.

I don't really care that Lil Sponge Mop just got out of jail, or the star of the popular movie 'Twinkle Twinkle: Pimps in Space-The Saga Continues' house was just seized by the bank. Obama should not be addressing a comment that some rapper made regarding some music video. I understand that when majority finds a topic interesting and it becomes the big scoop in the streets, that subject is what's popular and everyone wants to have an input on the topic. All this does is distract our attention and make room for the wicked and immoral people in the world to sneak up and do their dirt.

It is the responsibility of the world's leaders to protect their citizens and especially the children of our future. It took the Nigerian officials over a week to announce that those girls were kidnapped and with every minute they waited the terrorists were getting further away. This should not be!

How can we prevent this from happening again? How do we get our girls back? When will we get our girls back? These are far too many questions that can not be answered.

What do you think about our leadership in this world? Are they responsible? Should they be held responsible? Can they prevent this type of crime from being committed against our children?

Keeping your confidence when dealing with out of control teenagers

"I hate you!" The incorrigible 16 year old yelled to her mother.

" Don't speak to me that way. You will respect me in my house!" The mother yelled back with tears in her eyes and anguish in her heart.

This is an all so familiar situation for parents and their teenagers. The teenager all of a sudden feels that 2 years of high school qualifies them as an experienced adult, and the parent has been through enough experiences with the child to now be afraid of their seemingly over night growth. Here are 5 ways for a parent to stay confident while guiding their teen through the rough and rocky times.

1. Join either an online support group or find a group in your local area that meets on a regular basis to discuss ways to connect with your teenager. A good online place to begin is 'Because I love you'; www.bily.org
 
2. Stay consistent with providing structure for your teen, but find ways to remind yourself that it won't get better over night. The teenage attitude, habits, and behavior didn't form over night so therefore it won't be corrected in one night.

3. Keep yourself updated on as many teenage trends as possible without allowing it to become a distraction to your lifestyle. I'm not suggesting that you should be your child's friend, but at least be able to connect with them if/when they come to you attempting to communicate.

4. Never doubt that you're doing a good job as a parent. "Am I doing a good job as a parent?" Chances are, if you're asking yourself this question, then you are doing a good job as a parent. Maybe not as good as a parent that you would like to be, but only good parents wonder if they're being a good parent.

5. Keep an open mind and ask your teen questions. When you feel that something may not be right or even if you feel that everything seems right, open up and ask your teen questions. Don't be intimidated.

Think about your childhood and how your parents raised you. Do you think your parents were perfect? Do you think that you learned from the mistakes your parents made? Have you aimed to be a better parent than your parents? Whatever your answers are to these questions, and whether your parents were perfect or horrible, you'll always aim to be a better parent for your child/ren. Relax. Your teen will come around just as you did.

8 SIGNIFICANT REASONS A WOMAN WANTS AND NEEDS A CONFIDENT MAN

             

• A woman wants and needs a confident man by her side because he's able to work past his fears  while staying steady in pursuit towards his goals. Despite the obstacles in his mind, a confident man will view those doubts and mental obstacles as challenges needing to be conquered. He won't make excuses for falling short, he'll just acknowledge his failure and get right back up again.

•  A woman definitely needs a confident man because he takes his responsibility as the head of household seriously, which surpasses his animal instincts to run wild in the streets. Forget what DMX and Aaliyah agreed on, because a woman needs a man to do more than make it back in one piece. She needs a man who will not only have enough self-discipline to stay out of the streets, but to lead his family in peace. A confident man would rather be admired and respected by his family than get props from the streets. The streets have love for no man.

•  A woman wants a confident man because along with that confidence will come dignity. A man with dignity will do the right thing even when his woman isn't around. He will not freely give himself to another woman and jeopardize taking home a disease or a baby.  He wants to be worthy of honor and respect, and the mere thought of ripping his woman's heart and losing her honor and respect would crush his spirit.

•  A confident man takes his responsibility as a father seriously and this is what a woman wants and needs in her life. One of the most significant feats in life for a confident man is leaving a deep rooted legacy. Majority of the time-the seeds of the legacy are left within his children. They don’t necessarily have to be his biological children, but the children that he raises and gives his love, wisdom, and time to.

•  A woman needs a confident man because he will look for opportunities to praise her. Though he is the head, he won’t feel intimidated if his woman is shining. As a matter of act he will put her in the spotlight most times and make sure to be her biggest supporter. When a woman has a supportive man, she brags on how supportive he is. It’s a win- win for him. A woman needs praise from her man just as a child needs it from their father. It’s something about the bass in his voice and the power behind it that boosts a woman’s adrenaline in all the right ways.

•  A woman wants and needs a confident man because, for him, physical and verbal abuse is not an option. He won’t take it off of her; and he most definitely won’t be the abuser. A confident man will also be a wise man and will possess skills which enables him to express frustration and anger in a non-abusive way. Only weak men with no confidence abuse women. They lack anger management, self-control, and the ability to express feelings verbally.

•  A woman needs a confident man because he doesn’t get jealous when other men look her way. He knows what his woman is packing, which this is the reason he chose her. A confident man will trust his woman because he's taking care of his business at home in more ways than one.

•  A confident man will pray for and with his woman, he will listen to her concerns, he’ll see her as a partner, he’ll be patient during her time of the month, he’ll be honest, trustworthy and loyal. He’ll be her best friend as well as her rock.

Use your confidence to past the finish line

The truth about my flaws...They're perfect!

 

         I am so amazed, refreshed, and relieved to have finally learned the wonderful truth about my individuality and uniqueness. I didn’t just stumble over this truth, but I sought out this truth because I always knew it was there. I had a constant nagging and tugging deep in my soul which kept me restless until I discovered (or uncovered) what was always here in front of me. Are you eager to know what it is?

     This might blow your mind so you may need to strap down. If you have to stop reading this until you get in the car or somewhere that has a seat belt, I’ll wait……………

Okay, are you ready???

     First, I have a question that I would like for you to answer. Do you have any flaws? I hope to heaven that your answer is no!

      Well, I have discovered that my SO CALLED flaws are exactly what makes me so awesome. My SO CALLED flaws are what makes me….perfect! But everywhere I look there are images of what perfection should look like, and I am constantly being reminded that my SO CALLED flaws should be corrected in order for me to be considered perfect. Or shall I say, I’d been tricked to believe that perfection is looking, acting, and living how society says I should.

   

     The more you compare your individuality and uniqueness to what society says is perfect, the more you will look to doctors, television, celebrities, and media for the magic eraser that will take your true identity away. The more you look to those things for a solution, the more control society has over you. Let me be quit clear about this; accepting and appreciating your uniqueness means that you go against society's views. 
     

     What sets me apart from you? What sets you apart from your mother or father? What sets us apart from our friends? It’s our SO CALLED flaws that sets us apart from the rest of the world.  As a matter of fact, they are not flaws at all; they're our gifts. Our differences, challenges, uniqueness, size, looks, complexion, the way we walk, our body type, hair texture, eye color, size of our nose…you know, those things;  aren’t suppose to have any specific format, structure, size or design in order to be perfect. My large nostrils, and dark complexion, C shaped ears, loud laugh, sarcastic humor, and so many other things about me is my special mixture. We all are made up of the same ingredients but mixed as different recipe's. Every human is made up of his or her own unique recipe that makes them who they are; therefore, no one was created to look like, act like, live like, or desire what anyone else has.

    Society programs us to think there’s a specific blueprint of how we should look, act, and live in order for our  lives to be great. But the truth is that we are great when we're  born! Success is in us from day one regardless of how many SO CALLED flaws we have. Unplug yourself from society’s outlet and plug into the universe. Erase the idea that your individual uniqueness are flaws and uncover the truth for yourself.

                                                  THE END…….

Irresponsible couple murdered after fight put on Facebook

.

Senseless murder is not news for many of us because we see it in the media all of the time. I've personally seen a man beat almost to death on the back of metro Bi-state bus over...guess...Jordan sneakers!
We can't seem to go one day without turning on the television and hearing about someone whose had their life taken over something quit futile.
In this story, a neighborhood fight that was recorded and plastered all over facebook may now be a link to finding the person/people responsible for the murder of a young couple.
This story of James and Danielle Alexander is saddest to me, though not uncommon, because here we have a married couple who was murdered and discovered by one of their children. Can you imagine?

What kind of lifestyle did this couple have? Did they choose to live a life for their children that exemplified self respect and self confidence? I'm not judging this couple because I think this is very sad and no one deserves to have their life taken over a simple street fight, but the careless, irresponsible, and quit dysfunctional decision that was made by the now deceased mother shows her irresponsibility. She not only fought in the streets in front of her home, but she posted the fight on Facebook and boasted about it.


A woman with self-confidence will always keep in the forefront of her mind how her behavior affects her children, and will act responsibly. A confident woman believes in her ability to be great. She can't be great when the hi-light of her week is posting a fight on Facebook of a beat down that she gave to another young woman. Don't believe me, look at her results. She can't be great if she is dead and leaves behind 4 young children.

8 Reasons a man wants a confident woman

       8 Reasons a Man Wants a Confident Woman

          Ladies, the very popular quote holds truth: Behind every good man is a great woman: and if you’re in a relationship with a good man, then you know exactly how to interpret this statement. Guess what? Men understand this statement also- and maybe even more than women.
The main quality that a woman must possess in order to be great is– Confidence. That’s right, the good old ‘C’ word. When a man has a vision and he realizes his greatness, he will eventually want a woman who has what it takes to help bring life to that vision. He’ll begin to look for a lover, a friend, a soul mate, a supporter, a partner- his wife! He’ll not only need a woman that can hold him down but he’ll want a confident woman who can lift him up. Here are 8 reasons a man wants and needs a confident woman.

1. A confident woman will be very patient and understanding while her man is trying to bring his vision to life. When a man is passionate about his vision he may put in long hours until he cracks the surface. His woman will make sure their surroundings are in order so that he may put quality focus on the plan. A woman who lacks confidence will feel rejected and take things personal when her man has to spend long days working and/or traveling. A woman without confidence will spend more time focusing on what her man isn’t doing right rather than understanding that he’s developing.


2. A confident woman will feel secure in her relationship because she understands that her man is doing what he’s doing for his family. When a woman is secure in her relationship she won’t be tempted to give up the gushy goods to someone else. She will have the ‘us’ attitude and her validation will come from her self-worth. A woman without confidence will have the ‘me’ attitude because her focus is on being validated by her man or even another man.

3. Confident women take pride in their appearance. Nice hair, a little make-up from time to time, nice properly fitting clothes, pedicure and manicure when necessary, and a regular workout routine to keep herself healthy are all ways for a woman to take pride in her appearance. When a woman looks good, she feels good, and when she feels good - that woman wants to make her man feel good in every way.

4. There is something about a woman who has brains to go with her beauty. A confident woman reads and educates herself on a regular basis. Toxic television shows, useless conversations, negative friends, and no interest in learning new things, are NOT often associated with confident women. A confident woman looks for new things to learn and is eager to bring them to her man.

5. A confident woman knows how to tap dance in the rain. This means that she is able to face adversity and most challenges without completely becoming the ‘B’ word. The word that rhymes with…uhhh…I think you get it. When a man is grinding and trying to make a dollar out of 15 cents he will definitely face some challenges along the way. His woman should be able to hold it together so that he can keep a clear head.  He has no time to constantly calm her down and stay focused on what he needs to do.  

6. A confident woman knows the power of submission. Being submissive does not mean giving your power away, it means the opposite. Hey, we didn’t make the rules we just need to follow them. The man is the head and has a major role in the family. He has to provide, protect, and pro create with his woman. The responsibility of a good man is major and his woman shows her love by respecting his role and submitting. She knows that her man was built with a back strong enough to carry 2 tons of bricks (figuratively). As he carries her on his back, she wipes his sweat and gives him water. Therefore he can see where he’s going and stay replenished so that he may endure to the end.

7. But she also knows how to be firm when necessary. A confident woman will not be intimidated by her man, nor will she be passive. She sees herself in him and will not want to see him defeated. In a loving way she will inform him when her heart is heavy and recommend that he  turns from doing something he will regret. A good man will listen.


8. Overall, a man wants a confident woman because her strength along with her loyalty to him is what keeps him going.